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 Texas : Features : Columns : Letters From North America :

Gadgets

by Peary Perry
Peary Perry
Here I am sitting in the airport the other day looking around at all of the folks to see what the latest items in gadgetry happen to be. The newest cell phone fad seems to be a device that you insert into your ear and it connects wirelessly to your cell phone…so the impression you get is that of someone actually talking to you. If you happen to be on the side where you can't see the ear thing, then you have a tendency to answer the questions that are being asked or to make a comment on the conversation that doesn't concern you. You can't always tell if they are talking to you or not until the person says something like…"I love you too" then you can be fairly certain that they weren't talking directly to you…. on the other hand I'll leave that up to you to decide if you want to move away or not. This is strictly your decision.

But, think back to a few years ago, before everyone was 'wired'. First off, all of us had telephones which had a "CORD" attached to them. Horrors!!! This tended to make travel throughout your house somewhat difficult. Talking on your phone in traffic was out of the question, unless you had a really long cord. Big change in this area. Not so sure we made any progress, though.

How about your television? I'll bet some of you can actually remember the time you had to get out of your chair to change the channel. Not to mention how often you had to get up and move those 'rabbit ears' around for better picture quality. When was the last time you had to adjust the horizontal or vertical controls? Do you even know what those are?

You want culture shock? When was the last time your kids manually rolled up the windows in a car? Most kids today have never seen anything but the button they push to make them go up or down. Same goes for car mirrors. Used to have to get out of the car, adjust the mirror, get back in the car, see if it's set correctly, get back out and repeat until you got it right. Boring.

My oldest son and his wife just had a baby. I remember using a ceramic warmer thing to heat bottles up with about 2am…now they just toss a sack of formula or milk into the microwave and bingo, there it is. . No fuss, no mess. They don't even use bottles like we had years ago; the ones today are tilted with all kinds of nipples and air bags inside. I think my daughter in law would have a heart attack if I poured milk in a coke bottle, put a nipple on it and stuck it in the baby's mouth. Tell the kids today about that…. they don't believe you. Makes you wonder what they used in the middle ages.

Some things are just better off left alone. They simply can't be improved upon. Take for instance an electric cheese grater. I bought one last year. It's a dud. You can grate 10 times more cheese, faster using the old metal hand graters that everyone has had in their kitchens for about a hundred years. When you think about it…grating cheese in a machine makes about as much sense as using an electric rolling pin. Or an electric pencil.

You want to know how out of touch some folks are? Just pull out a sheet of carbon paper. At church a couple of weeks ago, I saw a couple of kids in front of me pull some out of the little attendance register and look at it as if it was a moon rock or something. I don't think they had a clue as to what it was for until their mother bent over and explained it to them.

As a result we've become addicted to electronics. Heaven help us if the power grid goes out. We might have to learn how to light the fire using a real match instead of one of those little plastic lighters. The rate of heart attacks would rise to epidemic proportions if we had to actually use an axe to cut wood instead of a chainsaw. We pay good money to go to a gym to work out then pay more money for a car with power steering and power brakes to drive there and back.

No wonder the aliens from outer space leave us alone…they probably have looked us over and can't begin to figure us out. Does it make sense to you?
© Peary Perry
Letters From North America
- March 8, 2006 column
Syndicated weekly in 80 newspapers

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This page last modified: March 8, 2006