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Men
and Melon by
Peary Perry
You
can't tell how good a man or a watermelon is 'till they get thumped'... |
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| | "Men
and melons are hard to understand." - Ben Franklin
Photo courtesy Luling
Chamber of Commerce |
My
ability to sympathize with people who have chronic illnesses or sickness has just
gone up by about 1,000 percent this past couple of weeks.
As you may recall,
I wrote about having a knee operated on several weeks ago. The operation was a
success but the patient died is not far from wrong. While in the hospital (a place
where one goes to get well, not sick) I managed to catch some type of bronchial
virus or whatever that has me whipped like a dog. I’m on several different kinds
of medications and can’t seem to get caught up on my sleep. I’d hate to think
this might go on for some time, but doesn’t look like it’s going to get better
any time soon. It really is depressing to try and deal with the fact that you
might not be able to bounce back as quickly as you could 15 or 20 years ago.
In the meantime, I have to knock out something to fill this space for the week
and I’m having a difficult time just staying awake to knock this out this morning.
God is good enough to give me a pass and he sends some witticisms along in this
morning’s collection of trash e-mails that I found somewhat humorous and applicable
in today’s times. So, here they are. |
Common
Sense Words for the Wise: - Don't
name a calf you plan to eat...
-
Your fences need to be horse high, pig tight, and bull strong...
-
Life is not about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce...
- Keep skunks
and bankers and lawyers at a distance...
- Life
is simpler when you plow around the stump...
- A
bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.
- Words
that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled...
- Meanness
don't jest happen overnight...
- Forgive
your enemies. It drives them nuts...
-
Don't sell your mule to buy a plow...
- Do
not, corner something that you know is meaner than you...
- It
don't take a very big person to carry a grudge...
- You
can not un-say a cruel word...
- Every
path has a few puddles...
- Don't
spit into the wind...
-
When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty...
- The
best sermons are lived, not preached...
- Most
of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway...
- Don't
squat or hunker down with your spurs on...
- Don't
judge people by their relatives...
- Remember
that silence is sometimes the best answer...
- Live
a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy
it a second time...
- Don't
interfere with something that ain't botherin' you none.
- Timing
has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance...
- It's
better to be a has-been than a never-was...
-
The easiest way to eat crow is while it's still warm. The colder it gets, the
harder it is to swaller.
- If
you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'...
-
If it don't seem like it's worth the effort, it probably ain't.
-
It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep...
- Sometimes
you get and sometimes you get got...
-
The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with watches you shave
his face in the mirror every morning...
-
If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody
else's dog around...
-
Don't worry about bitin' off more'n you can chew; your mouth is probably a whole
lot bigger'n you think...
- Only
cows know why they stampede...
- Always
drink upstream from the herd...
-
If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make
sure it's still there with ya...
-
Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment...
- Lettin' the
cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in...
- You
can't tell how good a man or a watermelon is 'till they get thumped'...
- Never...Never...miss
a good opportunity to shut up...
Having
said that last one, I’ll shut up and try to get better by next week. |
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