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Mr.
Ethics Man
by
Peary Perry | |
It
seems that one of the newest fads going around is this consideration of ethics.
As in, what should I do when I am confronted with some circumstance or another
and I don’t know what my decision should be?
This subject is now the topic
of books, classes and newspaper columns. Perhaps I’m wrong, but I find it both
amusing and discouraging at the same time to think that some folks actually have
to write to someone for advice on what they should do in a given situation.
A
few examples:
You apply for a job and you know that your current resume
won’t make it, so you decide to ‘enhance’ your qualifications. Do you see anything
wrong in this?
The clerk at the supermarket (café) gives you too much money
back after you pay your bill. You notice the error several minutes later, what
do you do? Go back and hand them the money or go on home, after all they make
a lot of money?
Your son could go to a better school if he lived in the
district where your sister lives. Do you think there is anything wrong with listing
your address as that of your sisters so your son can change schools?
Your
health insurance application asks about a previous injury, if you admit to having
one, your premiums will be higher. Do you ‘forget’ about it and let it slide or
give out the information?
Now the answers to these are fairly obvious
to me, but as I said, I might just be the odd duck and out of touch with the realities
of today’s modern world.
So, while I can answer the above with no real
problem, it makes me wonder if real people actually write these kinds of questions
seeking advice and answers. This leads me to think that I could have a real career
as a sort of ethics ‘guru’ and make a lot of moola just giving out advice. So
here goes:
“Dear Mr. Ethics Man - The other day I was standing in
the crosswalk, just outside the bank when a little old lady on a walker dropped
her purse and several $100 bills fell out along with a nasty looking 357 Mangum.
Should I have helped her pick everything up or should I have pointed her out to
the cops who were arriving at the bank for some kind of an emergency?” signed
Confused.
Dear Confused - my advice would be to run back to the
bank and see if there was a reward. Their answer will be the determining factor.
You might want to kick the pistol out of her immediate reach if you are taking
my advice.
“Dear Mr. Ethics Man - my roommate is dating this very
hot woman. I am secretly in love with her, but am in a quandary. If I tell her
how I feel, she will tell him. Then he will get mad at me and want to move out
and I’ll have to pay all of the rent, which I cannot afford.” Signed Casanova.
Dear Casanova - does she have a job and could she afford to pick up the slack
if he moved out? How does her furniture look, is it better than yours? Is her
place closer to where you work than where you currently live?
“Dear
Mr. Ethics Man - I wear a helmet made of foil to keep my brain waves from
being read by the government. People look at me as if I’m weird, which I feel
I am not. I do feel that my professional life (I am an attorney) has been affected
by my decision, but the results are well worth the criticism. Since I have been
doing this I have avoided any investigations by the FBI, CIA, NSA and the IRS.
Also, both the Republican and Democratic parties have stopped sending me requests
for donations. Do you think I should tell the people I work with along with my
neighbors how much danger they are in by not being as careful as I am? Or should
I just let it go and laugh at their stupidity and recklessness for being pawns
in an oppressive society which values the rich but not the poor?” I am not using
my real name…just refer to me as SRC1105.AA, thanks, and have a nice day.
Dear SRC1105.AA - Thank you for writing, I’ll have to think about your
question and get back you at a later date, if you don’t mind. Please don’t take
offense to this answer, I’m on your side, but need a little more time to formulate
my response.
Well, as you can see Mr. Ethics Man can get very busy in
a short time. He’s going to sign off for now and take a few months off, perhaps
a year. | | |
