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 Texas : Features : Columns : "It's All Trew"

I've got some issues with the term 'issues'

by Delbert Trew
Delbert Trew

Recently as evening waned, I was sitting in my easy chair waiting for the sun to go down so I could legitimately go to bed.

The phone rang and the young lady dispatcher at the Gray County Sheriff's Office stated, "Mr. Trew, we have a deputy just north of your house who is having some issues with a stray bull out on I-40. Could you possibly help him please?"

I immediately jumped up, fastened my belt, slipped on my boots, grabbed my cap and pickup keys and started out the door.

It was at this time the words, "having some issues" soaked into my feeble brain. This was definitely new ground for my experiences.

Now, during my 75 plus years, 60 spent alongside Route 66 and I-40, I have experienced stampedes, runaways, wrecks, strays, bull fights, truck wrecks, immigrant pileups, drug busts, suicides, hopped-up truck drivers, two murders, thousands of foreign tourists, jail prisoner escapees, stolen property, stolen vehicles and truckloads of trash tossed but never in all those years have I encountered a stray bull with "issues."

While backing my truck out of the carport I recalled having in my possession a shovel, axe, chain, jumper cables, come-a-long, wire pliers and gloves.

What else could I possibly need? Issues! What the heck is a bull doing with issues? The only issues of which I knew were political issues. How could a bull have political issues?

No doubt a lot of bull is involved in politics but a bull with issues? Feeling totally inadequate and unprepared, I drove north to help the deputy in any way possible. It could be a long night.

I found the deputy herding a bull along the fence on I-40. There was a gate just a little ways west. We opened the gate herded the bull through without problems, closed the gate and all was back to normal.

The bull was safe as well as the traffic along the highway. It was a job well done by the deputy with my help.

Now, back to the issues at hand. Unfortunately, the bull went his way without discussing any issues he had so it was apparent they were not serious.

The deputy and I went our ways with no further issues to discuss.

So, that leaves us with the dispatcher who used the term. No doubt she has been listening and watching the political conventions with their myriad of issues. It seems the term "issues" has become a staple in everyday conversations so we excuse the woman for her use of the term.

After the experience and in reviewing the episode in detail, I can offer the following advice: If you get a call stating you have a bull out of bounds and with issues, I recommend you take a pair of wire pliers and your gloves along just to be prepared.

© Delbert Trew
"It's All Trew" November 3, 2008 Column
E-mail: trewblue@centramedia.net.

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