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SRO ESL
(Standing Room Only · English as a Second Language)
Or

The Joy of Communication

By John Troesser

In the mid-1990s I had the privilege of teaching ESL to a group of Vietnamese in Houston. They were, to say the least, a diverse group. They ranged in age from 18 to 60 plus. There was a mother with her two teenage daughters, several former businessmen who never had the time to learn English in the “old” country, some veterans and even a generous helping of American-fathered kids – now in their 30s. The most memorable of this group were two extremely tall brothers – same mother but two fathers – one Black and one White. Their devotion to each other was like something from a Greek myth.

Since these classes were administered by a Vietnamese who had first come to America in the 1950s, there was great freedom with the curriculum. I was only asked to “make it practical.” It was a volunteer position with a stipend for gas. The only requirement was to be able to stand upright for an hour in an non-airconditioned room and to teach English that might benefit them in a constructive way.

From an initial class of about ten students, the class grew with each session and more tables were added. Roll call and my butchering of Vietnamese names was one of the high points of the hour – another was my locking of the doors on Houm – a tiny Black-Vietnamese girl who was habitually late. Houm resembled a young Eartha Kitt – including her trademark sassiness. I would hear running feet and cup my hand to my ear, asking the class "Who is that?" Houm! They would shout with glee.

One day Houm surprised everyone by being early. I commented on this earthshaking event and said "Houm, you aren't late today." But she only heard the word "late" and said, "Teacher, I am NOT late - I am ugly!" Some of the other girls laughed and there was a quick exchange in Vietnamese and Houm took her seat - blushing and laughing at the same time.

Soon there were so many students (not to mention the non-enrolled who just came to watch roll call and then go outside to wait for their bus) that another instructor was needed.


Meet Mr. Dang
My fellow instructor was a distant relative of the absentee boss. He had taught English at an all-girls school in Vietnam in a city that had a reputation for its beauty. If Saigon had been the “Pearl of the Orient” then this city was Vietnam’s emerald.

My co-instructor introduced himself as Mr. Dang and I never called him anything else. He was to teach beginning English in a separate classroom, but without supervision, we quickly formed a tag-team on the combined classes. Mr. Dang would translate my quips and bon mots into Vietnamese, but he often refused to translate retorts from the class (even while he himself was suppressing laughter).

“Oh, you know, Mr. Troesser, that is really quite a vulgar word in Vietnamese.”

Mr. Dang had the decorum of a diplomat and his precise diction reminded me of an Asian James Mason. When he once mentioned that his family had eaten rats during the Japanese occupation of Vietnam, I imagined a miniature Mr. Dang doing so with a knife and fork.

How does one say bon mots in French?
He also modestly explained that his French was much better than his English. On several occasions one of the older businessmen would ask a question in French – about the English lesson. Mr. Dang would then say to the class: “Oh, you know…we are here to learn English, not French.”

Before or after classes, we would visit. One day he was mentioning a dinner given by one of the many Vietnamese organizations in Houston. It was a black-tie affair and the attendees were a mix of academics, ex-military and high level bureaucrats from the former Republic. Mr. Dang started the story in the way he always did.

“Mr. Troesser!”
“Yes, Mr. Dang?”
“Oh, you know… I was at a party last night.
“No, I did not know that.”
“Yes, and a most interesting thing happened.”
“I’m all ears.”
“Oh, you know... I like that expression.”
“What happened last night, Mr. Dang?”

He then went on to describe how during one of the fiercest periods of the war, it was feared that the North Vietnamese Army would capture the city. Reliable sources said that they had the place surrounded and even the unreliable sources concurred.

He had lived in a three-story house on a hill. It was a pastel pink (his wife’s idea) and was widely admired throughout the neighborhood. It was walking distance to the girl’s academy where he taught.

I took the opportunity to ask what this had to do with the party.

“Oh, you know…the ARVN commander (Army Republic of Vietnam) of that region was at the party last night.”

“When he asked where I was from, I answered ________.”

He told me that he had been in charge of that city’s defense during that time. He then asked what part of town I lived in and I told him. He then got quite serious and asked, “You didn’t happen to live in a three story pink house, by any chance?”

“I told him "yes” and he started laughing and put his hand on my shoulder!”

Mr. Dang continued: “He told me through his laughter that they knew that if an attack occurred, my house would almost certainly be used as an observation point by the NVA – therefore he had two of his artillery pieces sighted on my house. At my bedroom window!”

I forget my response, but I remember Mr. Dang’s punch line.
“Oh, you know… I never knew!”


June 15, 2014 Column

© John Troesser
More Columns by John Troesser

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