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In
spite of the problem in the Gulf and the recession, I have managed to come up
with a number of comments which I think might just bring a smile to your faces
this week. These are compiled from information some friends have sent to me as
well as my own observations on life in general. I trust you can identify with
these and have a laugh or two.
Questions you just can't answer:
Why
doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why do we put suits in a garment bag and
put garments in a suitcase?
What are the handles for corn on the cob called?
Why
do they put holes in crackers?
Why do we press harder on a remote control
when we know the batteries are flat?
Why are there Braille signs on drive-up
ATM’s?
Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know
there is not enough?
Why
did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Why
does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check
when you say the paint is wet?
Why does a round pizza come in a square
box?
Why
does the Easter bunny carry eggs? Rabbits don't lay eggs.
Whose
idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?
What is the speed of darkness?
Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up every two
hours?
If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice
as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?
If the plural of mouse is mice….why isn’t the plural of house….hice?
What do you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered
plant?
Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only
seem longer?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out
it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why
do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look
at things on the ground?
Did you ever stop and wonder.....
How fast do hotcakes sell?
Do
prison buses have emergency exits?
If laughter is the best medicine, who's
the idiot who said they 'died laughing'?
How come you can kill a deer
and put it up on your wall. but it's illegal to keep one as a pet?
How
far east can you go before you're heading west?
How can something be "new"
and "improved"? if it's new, what was it improving on?
Since bread is
square, then why is sandwich meat round?
If pro and con are opposites,
wouldn't the opposite of progress be congress?
Is there ever a day that
mattresses are not on sale?
Who was the first person to look at a cow
and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever
comes out?'
Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn
the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
Why
is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
Why does Goofy stand
erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs !
Why Does Pluto
Live in a dog house, eat dog food, etc. but Goofy, who is also a dog, lives in
a condo and drives a car?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable
oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
If electricity
comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Why do the Alphabet
song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Stop singing
and keep reading…..
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet
Soup?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets
mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
If
ghosts can walk through walls and glide down stairs, why don't they fall through
the floor?
How come you never see a billboard being put up by the highway?
Enough of this for this week…..have a good week…
© Peary Perry
Letters From North America
- June 17,
2010 column
Syndicated weekly in 80 newspapers
Comments go to pperry@austin.rr.com | 
