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Rent-A-Pet
by Peary Perry |
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They
say that if you want to stay ahead of the curve you have to follow
the folks out in California. I’m not certain that this is always true
but it is interesting to see what they manage to come up with from
time to time. If not to imitate, then just to talk about and snicker
behind their backs…..
The latest trend announced just this week is a service for people
who like dogs and cats but don’t want to actually own one. So what
do you think they are doing over in the golden state? Renting them.
That’s right, they have rental services for people who don’t want
the hassle of buying a pet, housetraining them, feeding them, taking
them to the vet and having them around 24/7, 365 days a year. So they
rent out cats and dogs to Californians who want to stop by, pick up
an animal for a few hours and then turn them in later on in the day.
No fuss, no muss, no nothing…just a few hours of love and affection
and then off you go to your Pilates or yoga session or whatever.
I gotta tell you folks, this is weird.
First off, I’ve had dogs and cats all of my life. I’ve never had a
bad one yet. Well, except for one demented cat and a couple of super
hyper dogs which we didn’t keep very long. All of our other animals
have brought me countless hours of joy and love. I can’t imagine life
without a pet. I cannot see how anyone could get attached to a rent-a-pet.
I used to ride horses at a stable in Houston when I was a kid. My
favorite horse was named Socks. He (she?) cost $3.00 for two hours
of riding. I liked the horse but never really felt as if the horse
was mine or that I had any strong personal attachment to it. It wasn’t
like I felt the horse was a real part of my family, it was just a
horse I rented when I wanted to go riding. Looks to me as if renting
a pet would be pretty much the same. How can you get attached to something
that isn’t yours?
I suppose the next step out in LaLa land is to rent-a-kid. You don’t
want the responsibility of actually having a kid of your own. Can’t
handle the costs or the obligation to raise it for many years, so
you just pick and choose one you’d like and bingo, there you are.
Maybe you need one for some charity event and you don’t have any relatives
near by so you call in your order. You can pick one up from the checkout
center, take him or her out for a movie or dinner and then turn them
in by midnight and pay your bill with a Mastercard or Visa. Simple
and easy. No need to remember birthdays or holidays…just shop and
drop.
Now I don’t know if they are actually renting children out there as
of yet, but I wouldn’t be a bit surprised. I do know they have rent-a-dummy
services that provide you with a blowup model of an adult that can
be used to sit in the front seat of your car so you can drive on the
contra flow lanes and not get a ticket. The cheap ones get caught
all of the time. So taking a kid out for a few days to show off the
parental side of your personality certainly would not surprise me
in the least.
What never ceases to amaze me about this part of the country is the
how cold and removed a lot of the citizens seem to be about reality
and relationships. Now I was born in California, but never lived there
and I’m sure there are plenty of nice people out there just like you
and me. But, they do seem to have an overabundance of kooks and nuts
than the rest of the nation. I suppose we tend to only notice only
the bad things about people and places. Maybe I’m just overreacting,
who knows?
About the only thing left to rent in California, after pets and kids,
would be wives. But then I think Nevada has the lock on that service.
Then again I might be wrong, I’m surprised there isn’t a reality show
on television about some rent a wife…..there may be and I just missed
it. Check it out and let me know. I don’t really care to look for
it myself. |
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