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Voice mail,
Taxes,
Politics, Television and Diet
by
Peary Perry |
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Sometimes
the thought occurs to me that perhaps I've already died and have been
living in Hell. As much as I'd like to think this is not true, I am
still forced to concede to the following which I'm sure you'll agree
cause us so much grief, we might think we are in Hell already.
Voice
mail
- how much of our time is wasted each and every day listening to that
dumb little voice which always starts out…"Your call is important
to us, please be patient and stay on the line. We will answer your
call in the order it was received. Our operators are on the other
lines assisting other customers. We estimate your call will be answered
within ten minutes." First off, how come I'm never, ever the first
person on the line and every one else is waiting? I mean, do some
people get up at five in the morning to call the phone company or
the power company just so they aren't placed on hold? Not that it
would matter since these folks don't start taking calls until about
nine o'clock anyway. This is a little piece of Hell… in my opinion.
Taxes
- have you ever heard of any tax actually going down? All I've ever
heard about is how much more they need to fill their coffers. Not
that the service for any governmental project seems to get any better,
it just means more and more people are working on the same old inefficient
agency, doesn't it? Someone sent me a quote the other day that said
something along the lines that in some cases throwing more people
into some project or another will not improve their efficiency. For
example, no matter how many women you apply to the task, it still
takes nine months to have a baby. The same could be said for the government.
Another piece of Hell, we all endure.
Politics
- this is the time of the year, when we start with the process all
over again of determining who will be lesser of evils in running our
country. I don't care if you're a republican or a democrat; they all
have their faults and quirks when you get right down to it. If you
go back in history, I think you'll find that every presidential candidate
has promised a chicken in every pot and what do we get? Well, it isn't
a chicken, that's for sure. Each side blames the other for anything
that goes wrong, and each side takes credit for everything that goes
right. We expect our candidates to be saints starting at about the
age of accountability or five years old. If they ever cheated at marbles,
then we want to hold them up to the world and unworthy. On the other
hand if our candidate, lied, cheated and stole, well then it's of
because we shouldn't be concerned over his personal integrity. We
have at least 8 ½ months more of this daily drudgery to look forward
to. Another piece of evidence that we're in Hell.
Television
- doesn't it strike you as odd that we have about 450 channels to
choose from and nothing worthwhile to see? I mean how many times can
you watch "Smokey and the bandit"? Why do we need reruns of Dallas
when we already know what happened to J.R.? Look at the History channel,
twenty-four hours, seven days a week, three hundred sixty five days
a year of old World War Two films. Are we hoping to see a change?
I mean, let's face it. Germany lost. We won. How much more of this
do I have to see in my lifetime? I think I'm in Hell.
Decline
and fall of the stock market
- do I need to say more? Tell me this isn't looking like Hell.
Diets
- the final straw and most sinister of all Hellish devices. Tell me
you haven't ever been on a diet at some point in your life. But, which
one? We live in the most modern and best-advanced medical country
in the world and we still can't get information to tell us if we should
eat bread or not. Is steak good or bad for us? Can I have salt or
not have salt? Will we die if we drink coffee? For every doctor or
scientist telling us that we can eat pasta, there is another one who
says we can't. Who should we listen to? Who is telling us the truth?
Who knows? Diets alone are enough to convince me I'm already in Hell.
Of course I may just be wrong and this may only be a preview of what
Hell is actually like. If so, then I need to make certain my act is
straight and I get squared away before my number comes up. Who'd want
to endure this kind of misery for eternity? |
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