|
|
If
you think Kardashian media coverage has reached critical mass and will end, think
again. If you think the U.S. congress's public opinion polls could not drop any
lower, think again. If you've seen Miley Cyrus riding a wrecking ball and are
convinced you've now seen everything, think again. There's always something more
shocking than you think. We've just watched a symbol of world peace turned into
a twisted version of Hitchcock's "The Birds." This time, the birds aren't after
humans, they're after each other. Who'd a thunk?
Following the Pope's
public appeal for peace in Ukraine before thousands of people in St. Peter's Square,
children standing next to him at the open window of the Apostolic Palace set free
a pair of peace-loving white doves. An age-old symbol of peace since the time
of Noah, right? These days, not so much. Somebody at Pope Frank's digs forgot
to first hand the traditional olive branch to the doves, granting them safe passage.
Instead, they let them fly away naked, directly into mortal danger. The official's
careless omission did not go unnoticed by a couple of bad boy birds lurking outside
the window, hungry for action. Twitter reports that they had been trained by Tony
Soprano.
Two bully birds, a seagull and a crow, attacked the doves right
after their release. Bear in mind that these doves never had boxing lessons from
Mike Tyson, learned martial arts from Bruce Lee, or upgraded their flapping wings
into jet engines by NASA. Alas, there were no First Responders to save these emissaries
of a Papal Peace Plea.
One dove had his feathers ripped out in a smackdown
with the seagull, but witnesses hope it managed to escape and is currently free.
Bald but free.
Not such luck for the other dove. The crow showed no mercy
in a concentrated attack of pecking and clawing. (Perhaps that's why a group of
crows are not called a group of crows, they are called a "murder of crows.") Both
crow and seagull are trying to get into witness protection and hav e contacted
Walter White's lawyer, Saul ("Better Call Saul") Goodman.
A reward has
been offered for information leading to their capture. Meanwhile, Saul called
a guy who knew a guy who knew a guy who could get them an appointment with Chris
Christie. They are currently enjoying temporary sanctuary under the golden dome
of the New Jersey State House.
© Maggie
Van Ostrand, January 28, 2014 column
More
"A Balloon In Cactus" Columns
Related
Topics: Columns | Online
Magazine | Texas | |
| |
