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Got Flu?
Try A Sock Full of Onions
by
Maggie Van Ostrand |
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Before
the days of modern medicine, people relied on folk remedies. To ward
off the flu, for example, you might have to wear a sock full of onions
or eat a spoonful of hot chilies on a piece of pumpernickel. Today,
fortunately, we can simply get a flu shot. Or can we?
It wasn't enough to learn that once again, the U.S.A. doesn't have
enough flu inoculations to go around as we approach flu season, now
we find that the shots, if we had them, aren't even made here. They're
manufactured in other countries, better prepared countries, like Mexico,
Canada and England.
What's with this? What is it about Americans and the flu? When you
think about it, we so stay in the dark about this disease that we
name it after everybody except ourselves. This year, the World Health
Organization expects the following:
New Caledonian flu
Panama flu
Sichuan Flu
Fujia flu
Shanghai Flu
Kamamoto flu
We've had Spanish, Asian, and Hong Kong flu, but where, I ask you,
is an American name in this group? What is it about us that we have
to outsource even a disease? Where's the Hackensack flu or the Chattanooga
flu or the Muleshoe flu?
The very name, influenza, is foreign. It's Italian. Originally, it
meant "influence," and was used metaphorically for the outbreak of
a particular disease. For example, "an influenza di febbre scarlattina"
was an outbreak, or epidemic, of scarlet fever.
It seems intensely irresponsible to credit every other country as
the genesis of our diseases and deny that we might have actually started
it ourselves. Why, sometimes we even blame other species. We have
the Avian, or chicken, flu, and the Swine flu. Doesn't that smack
of discrimination? Doesn't that illegally exclude other creatures
who might want a little publicity? Would it be politically incorrect
for a caterpillar or a moose or an armadillo to take humans into court
and sue for Right of Disease Name? After all, if witches in Washington
can sue Halloween and win, anything's possible.
And why stop there? Why not the cell phone flu, the television flu
and the laptop flu? These three diseases appear to have infected the
majority of the entire world's population already, and they're not
even seasonal. They're with us all the time.
According to Dr. Robert Luchi, Professor of Medicine-Geriatrics at
Baylor College of Medicine, a flu inoculation, whether by needle or
nose, is a vast improvement over the old folk remedy of "covering
your body with lard to take away the heat of a fever."
Whatever it's called, it's now flu season, so take two onions and
call your doctor. |
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