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Movies
by
Maggie Van Ostrand |
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"Transported
to a surreal landscape, a young girl kills the first woman she meets
and then teams up with three complete strangers to kill again." That's
a movie review from a Marin County, California, newspaper. The movie
it described was "The Wizard of Oz."
Such a description certainly ranks above the two dumb thumbs stuck
in the air by a pair of well-paid, commercially popular film reviewers.
Anyway, everybody knows that if the films they're talking about were
any good, they'd have all four thumbs up, right?
Read
on and see if you can guess which movies are summarized in one sentence
(answers at the end) --
Dirty old
rich man dumps wife and family for young, blonde filly with a speech
impediment, who drinks herself into a stupor and ends up gone.
WW II draft
dodging, gin-swilling, Fedora-wearing dude flees U.S., is spurned
by a sentimental Parisian woman who's really from Sweden, dumps
her, then vanishes into the night with another man.
Intimidating
New York control freak with hanging jowels helps his friends by
utilizing guns, lawyers and long-distance animal abuse.
Dixie buttercup
achieves riches and finds love by flaunting her beauty, betraying
friends, and smacking servants upside they haids, while others lose
their lives in her behalf.
British Officer
becomes enchanted fighting for freedom in foreign land, sucks up
to royalty, and becomes famous for wearing a dress.
College boy
wants girl, compromises by dating her mother until a yellow bus
carries him off to a future of probable poverty with vascillating
trophy girl bride.
Two brothers
start out together in life but arrive at separate destinations,
one smashed up yet victorious, the other just hanging out.
A greedy and
vain Slav factory owner decides he'd rather be loved than rich and
is given posthumous worldwide recognition as a hero by a Hollywood
producer.
A dripping
guy does a one-footed stomp in the gutter while his silly friend
runs into a brick wall and the female love interest earns a living
by talking.
A man whose
business is failing meets a dead geezer and hallucinates his way
to happiness.
ANSWERS BELOW --
Dirty old rich man dumps wife and family for young, blonde filly
with a speech impediment, who drinks herself silly and ends up gone.
Answer: Citizen Kane (1941)
WW II draft dodging, gin-swilling, Fedora-wearing dude flees U.S.,
is spurned by a sentimental Parisian woman who's really from Sweden,
dumps her, then vanishes into the night with another man.
Answer: Casablanca (1942)
Intimidating New York control freak with hanging jowels helps his
friends by utilizing guns, lawyers and long-distance animal abuse.
Answer: The Godfather (1972)
Dixie buttercup achieves riches and finds love by flaunting her
beauty, betraying friends, and smacking servants upside they haids,
while others lose their lives in her behalf.
Answer: Gone With the Wind (1939)
British Officer becomes enchanted fighting for freedom in foreign
land, sucks up to royalty, and becomes famous for wearing a dress.
Answer: Lawrence of Arabia (1962)
College boy wants girl, compromises by dating her mother until a
yellow bus carries him off to a future of probable poverty with
vascillating trophy girl bride.
Answer: The Graduate (1967)
Two brothers start out together in life but arrive at separate destinations,
one smashed up yet victorious, the other just hanging out.
Answer: On The Waterfront (1954)
A greedy and vain Slav factory owner decides he'd rather be loved
than rich and is given posthumous worldwide recognition as a hero
by a Hollywood producer.
Answer: Schindler's List (1993)
A dripping man does a one-footed stomp in a gutter while his silly
friend runs into a brick wall and the female love interest earns
a living by talking.
Answer: Singin' in the Rain (1952)
A man whose business is failing meets a dead geezer and hallucinates
his way to happiness.
Answer: It's a Wonderful Life (1946)
These are the top ten pictures of all time, as voted by the American
Film Institute, in addition to The Wizard of Oz which came in at
#6.
Copyright Maggie Van Ostrand
"A Balloon In Cactus"
October 10, 2005 column
Email: maggie@maggievanostrand.com
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