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  Texas : Features : Humor : Column - "A Balloon In Cactus"

Scents and Sensibility

by Maggie Van Ostrand
Maggie Van Ostrand
Everybody loves a bride. Why, women love to see one almost as much as we love to be one, especially in June.

Back in the 15th Century, most people got married in the month of June because they took their yearly baths in May and didn’t smell too bad a mere month later, the time it took back then to plan a wedding. Obviously, those were the days before wedding planners.

Just to be on the safe side and not drive the groom back out the door gasping for fresh air while holding a handkerchief protectively over his nostrils, brides began carrying bouquets of flowers to hide their body odor. That was preferable to the groom's cries of "feh! feh!" at the alter. Unlike the bride's, his bath had been taken only the day before the wedding.

The annual baths themselves consisted of a big tub of hot water. The man of the house got the nice, hot, clean water, then all the other male members of the household from sons to servants, followed by the lowly women and, last of all, the baby. By that time, the water was so filthy, you couldn’t see into it and tiny tots could actually get lost in it, hence the expression, “Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water.” We’ve come a long way baby.


We can trace the artificial scents of today back to those June brides. Today,about the only thing that smells the same as it always did is the end of the nozzle at a gas pump.

Fragrances are known as the ultimate accessory. Nothing says more about you than the way you smell, say the perfume ads. Trouble is, ... next page
Copyright Maggie Van Ostrand
"A Balloon In Cactus" >
October 15, 2004
 
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